May Day, Mayday?
I first heard the term “May crush” in a session a few weeks ago. It didn’t take an explanation for me to understand what my client was talking about. With a couple of school-aged children, I immediately knew she was referencing the insanely busy couple of weeks as school and afterschool activities wrap and summer begins. And even though my own kiddo is still only in preschool, I recognized I’d be feeling it soon too.
But, as I thought about it a bit more, I realized it’s not a phenomenon unique to parents. For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt a semi-frantic crush as I look at the calendar this time of year and see that the weeks and months are cruising by more quickly than I had anticipated. Plus, there’s this weird feeling that, even though the days are getting longer, time’s moving more quickly and there’s just not enough of it. And check in with those new year’s intentions and goals? Well…
Yup, it’s enough to make me want to throw up a distress call.
AND, May Day is also the perfect time to take a deep breath, do a small reset, and then keep merrily on your way.
Whether it’s actually a thing or not (since sources are scant), I’m kind of digging on National Recommitment Month. The idea that now’s a good time to check in on the goals and intentions I set during my new year’s grace period sits well with me. There’s still more than half a year left for me to take action on the things that matter and to course-correct a bit if needed. Here’s how I’m doing that:
I’m reviewing my list to see what I’ve already accomplished and I’m taking a moment to celebrate anything that hasn’t already been celebrated. I’m also adding the things that weren’t on my original list but are worthy of noticing. This running “brag list” is really just for me, but it’s a great thing to turn to when I need a pick-me-up. I’m also taking a moment to recognize the non-doing things worth celebrating like the fact that I’ve been showing up how I want to as a mom and as a friend. After all, we’re human beings and to-do lists aren’t the be all and end all.
I’m taking note of what I want to keep on my list and what can fall off. Priorities shift. What once felt urgent and important may no longer fit or may not fit right now. For example, I thought I’d start a podcast this year but have realized that it’s just not realistic with my current bandwidth. So, that dream has been lovingly placed on hold.
I’m adding in things that weren’t on my radar in January. Just as priorities shift, new opportunities crop up too. I’m adding in the things that I couldn’t have even dreamed of a few months ago. But, I’m always mindful of just how much I’m adding. I ask “if I say ‘yes’ to this, what do/must I say ‘no’ or ‘not right now’ to?”
I’m reminding myself of WHY these things are on my list. Goals for goals sake don’t seem to get much traction. By reconnecting with the why behind each of my goals and intentions, I’m solidifying my commitment. (And, it’s a great double-check to make sure the list is a good one.)
And, lastly, I’m looking at what supports I need. Especially for newly-added goals/intentions or old one’s that haven’t quite seen the progress I’d like, I’m checking in to see what support I need. Is it a matter of shifting household responsibilities a bit for a little more time? Do I need an outside resource in the form of an accountability buddy or coach? Do I need some additional training? This last step helps me feel more confident that I’ll be able to reach my goals and helps me remember I’m not alone in doing so.
But what about that crush? How do you deal with a super busy calendar?
It’s true. This time of year gets FILLED. That’s why it’s more important than ever to take stock of what’s necessary, what’s important, and what can wait.
My M.O. has been to take my to-do list and assign hours to each to-do before distributing the tasks across my waking hours. But that method usually leaves me over-scheduled and headed for an end-of-month meltdown before summer even starts. So, I’ve been experimenting with a values-based prioritization method. Here’s what that looks like:
I write out my core values on the top of a blank sheet of paper. These are the things I aspire to live by each and every day. (Not quite sure how to articulate your own core values? Check out this recent post.)
I write down all of my upcoming events and to-do’s. This helps me get a 10,000-ft view of what’s going on.
I gut-check the laundry list against the aspirational list and then I ruthlessly edit. Sure, there are some things that just can’t be avoided. But I also tend to add a fair number of things to my plate from a feeling of should. Any of those are the first to go (if possible) and as I cross them off, I gently remind myself to not say “yes” unless it’s a “full-body yes”. I also look for ways to off-load or out-source where I can. And, I try to aim for no more than 75% scheduled because a) I’m not actually Superwoman b) things always crop up unexpectedly.
Have I perfected the system? Not yet. But I’m getting closer to a calendar that doesn’t make me want to pull the covers over my head each morning and/or collapse into bed exhausted each night. As I say often: it’s a work in progress…
Feeling like you could use a little support as you navigate figuring out what’s REALLY important? Learn more about my coaching approach.
Fun fact: I’m a bit of a trivia geek and can hold onto the most random things (but can never remember where my keys are). The “mayday” distress call actually has nothing to do with May Day. It was first used in the 1920s when air traffic between England and France needed an easily-recognizable signal. “Mayday” is simply an anglicized version of the French phrase m'aidez ("help me").